Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mother's Day!

I would like to wish everyone a Happy Mother's Day today.  I wish I could give my Mommy a gift today, but I will be sending her a package soon with some old family photos and a surprise!  Myself.. I received a bleeding heart plant, solar lights, a gift card and flowers and a cake! 
I was feeling pretty depressed and sorry for myself yesterday.  I didn't go to the Mother's Day tea at church because I just didn't feel like sitting around and smiling and trying to be happy.  I will go to church today and be happy there.  Maybe during the sermon we can get the bigger kids outside to start the garden.  I will see who is in charge of the class today and ask them.  Or we can do it after during fellowship.  Need to get those seeds in the ground soon! 
I am having a hard time dealing with being bald.  I am having a hard time dealing with only having one breast.  I feel very self conscious.  I try to project a positive appearance on the outside but inside I'm cringing.  Not that I'm a supermodel to begin with but I don't want people to look at me and feel sorry for me.  I have been getting the pity smile occasionally in public.  I just smile back and go on my way.  No one asks questions.  I just had one lady approach me out of the blue and tell me to stop by her spa and get some cooling gel for when I start chemo!  I haven't worn my wig.  I feel like that will make me stand out even more.  It is too tight anyhow.  I am supposed to go to look good feel good at the Cancer center on Monday and I will take it with me and see if they can fix it.  I'm hoping to get a prosthesis soon too.  Waiting for insurance approval.  Those light weight puffs don't cut it.  I look lopsided!  Maybe I can put a rock in it!  LOL  Anyhow I am trying to enjoy spring and my birds and the sunshine.  Blessings to all!

3 comments:

  1. I hope you got a blessing in going to church today.I pray that your treatment will go good on Wed.
    Helen

    ReplyDelete
  2. I won't even pretend that I wouldn't be bothered by losing my hair and breast, I think that is very natural for you to feel like this. I believe you are entitled to your own days of feeling sorry for yourself - you are going through a lot. I think of you often and keep you in my Prayers daily.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Cake...no day is lost if there is cake ;o.
    Happy Mother's Day...a bit late.
    I've seen some people look even better without the wigs...~Mary

    ReplyDelete