Monday, February 19, 2018

7 years!

I can't believe it has been 7 years since my surgery!  I honestly didn't believe that I would live this long.  I ended up getting the other breast removed, just in case.  I did not get reconstruction, so I am flat.  I still get 6 month check ups with my oncologist, now I see Dr. Leibers.  A year after my first mastectomy, my son treated me to a trip to St. Croix in the USVI.  It was wonderful there!  My hair had come back like a little gray puff ball on my head!  
Post cancer life has not been easy.  I feel like my physical health  has been declining and I've become much weaker.  I think this is my fault and not the cancer's fault.  Not having breasts and ovaries has really done a number on me as far as feeling like a woman.  I'm single now and men don't like women without breasts, especially fat women without breasts.  The ovary removal has made intercourse very painful, so intimacy for me is really not up there on the scale of importance.  Dating is hard, first I have to find someone that might be interested, then tell them about the cancer and most of them run like hell.  I only had one guy that wanted to date me and it turned out he was an ex felon (domestic violence).
I have learned a lot about myself and my relationships.  I go to frequent counseling and I am being treated for anxiety and depression.  I don't know when I will update here again, but I'm still alive!