Gross alert!

Gross alert!  Gross Alert!  I was cleaning my incision and was removing a piece of dead tissue and a hole appeared and all this yellow liquid mixed with blood started pouring out, sopping my pants and a bunch of gauze.  I wonder if the Dr. wants to talk to me now?

Incision

I am not dealing with this incision very well mentally.  I can change the dressings ok, but having to put the ointment on it is really freaking me out.  I can't really tell if the incision is healing because of the dead tissue built up on top of it.  The ointment I am putting on is supposed to "eat" the dead tissue away.  It is a pretty slow eater apparently.  I can't stand to deal with it.  I should of had them sign me up for the visiting nurse service.  I may end up having to go the hospital to have them clean all the dead stuff off.  I am worried that the wound is tunneling underneath the dead stuff.  I have seen some pretty nasty sores and wounds working at the nursing home but it seems different and freakier when it is on me! 

Not really "cancer" related

I went to see my PCP today about my chronic back pain.  She listened to my symptoms and history and looked at my back and she said I may have scoliosis!  She is sending me out for an X-ray just to see if there is a bone related problem.  I will be getting the bone scan on Thursday and well as the CT scan to check for the spread of cancer elsewhere in the body.  My mother and my brother both have back problems so this comes as no surprise to me.  My mother has osteoporosis and degenerating bones in her back and she is only 66.  My brother has chronic back problems too, but his might be related to something entirely different as he is so tall and thin.  I hope it is not scoliosis, but I am sure that this is something that is going to plague me for the rest of my life as it has been getting increasingly worse over time.  Good news however, hubby got me a nice recliner for the bedroom for $20 on Craigslist!  It looks brand new! 

Not been feeling so good

Sorry I haven't posted.  I have had a bad few days with a cold.  My surgery incision reopened also and I had a fever.  Went to the Dr. and she said it didn't seem infected but I've been on antibiotics just in case.  It has opened up more and is very disgusting to look at.  I can't even remember if I wrote about my visit to the oncologist.  I saw Dr. Keefe.  He is a very soft spoken and kind Doctor.  I think I will like him a lot.  He told me that after I get my tests done on March 3rd we can come up with a plan on how to tackle this cancer.  I am getting a CT and bone scan done first.  That will check to see if the cancer has spread.  He wanted to do a PET scan but that requires putting your arms up over your head and I cannot move my left arm higher than shoulder height.  If it has spread we have to come up with a whole new game plan but for now it looks like I will start chemo in about a month. This link will go to a picture that shows a drawing of breasts by the way.  Just to warn the sensitive folk.  I will get a port surgically implanted under my skin first.  I also may be getting my ovaries removed.  This type of cancer feeds off of female hormones so I will be put into menopause basically.  Nice, I will be a bald, one boobed angry woman!  Growing a beard... LOL 

Anyhow we are expecting freezing rain tomrrow so I hope that I can make it down to my appt tomorrow with the surgeon to check on the incision. 

Fever

I got a fever last night and one of my drainage tubes started leaking from the insertion site.  I was worried and called the Dr.  She had me go in the morning and she removed the drains and put on a gauze dressing and dressed the incision also.  That has come apart a little and is also draining.  She said it looks ok but she wants me down Monday to check it again.  

I also went and saw the oncologist today, Dr. Keefe.  He was very nice and explained everything.  I am going for a CT and bone scan in one week.  That should give them an idea if the cancer has spread at all.  What those tests say will determine my course of treatment.  If I am going to start chemo it looks as if that will start in about a month.  Good news is that I can also take a shower now!  Yippee!  Now if I could just wake up and find some ambition....

My mastectomy Warning.. Graphic photo at end of surgery site

I had my mastectomy on Friday February 11th, 2011.  I didn't go in until 1:30 PM so I had to fast until then.  That was hard, not even coffee!  We got there and only had to wait a brief time before my husband and I were taken to pre-op.  I changed into a gown and put on a lovely blue surgical hat and little hospital socks.  The nurse came over and introduced herself and went over my procedure and put an IV in.  She chose the back of my hand.  She put in a little lidocaine first but that IV hurt like heck!  From now on I am going to insist on not getting them in the back of my hand!  I became a little tearful after and she thought it was from the IV but I told her it was just from pre-surg jitters.  

Then an anesthesiologist came in and talked to me about a new procedure called a spinal block which would help with the after surgery pain.  I told him I have had two epidurals in the past and had bad experiences both times.  He said they would give me "something to help me relax" first so I agreed.  This procedure involved me sitting up with my front half laying on a table with a folded up blanket.  They put in numbing medication first, and then did an ultrasound to find where to put in the spinal blocks.  They started and I will tell you, it hurt like heck.  The pain wrapped around to the side and I was ouching and moaning each time they put in more.  Finally after the ninth injection I began hyperventilating and said I was going to vomit or pass out.  They stopped and lay me down and decided they would not proceed.  I was glad because that was terrible.  What little they did get in worked somewhat however.  I was sent back to pre-op and waited another hour while they finished up with a different surgery.  My Doctor had met with me earlier and drew her initials above my left breast.  Here is a picture of us together.

I was finally brought down to the surgery room by a different anesthesiologist and they began prepping me.  They explained everything.  I slid onto the surgery table myself and they strapped down my IV arm.  They put the mask over my face with regular oxygen.  Then they told me they were going to put me to sleep.  I could tell when the medicine went into my veins.  I felt a buzzing feeling.  At the same time I could start to smell the gas.  I just prayed to Jesus and I was gone.  Next thing I remember was someone telling me I was all done.  I was in the recovery room and could here a man close by yelling in pain or distress.  He was waking up from what I think was emergency surgery from a sledding accident.  Sounded pretty bad from the way people were talking.  I went to my regular room after I woke up enough and my husband took this picture of me!  I was not happy about that!

It turns out every time they gave me morphine I began vomiting.  Once they figured out it was the morphine they stopped that.  I only slept about two hours that night.  I was so uncomfortable and the bed was making my butt sore.  I was happy to go home the next day.  I had two drainage tubes in and still do.  Here is a graphic picture of my incision.  Be warned now.. it is graphic!

I still have the tubes in and are hoping to get them out early next week!  People have been so supportive of us the last couple weeks.  I will be meeting with the oncologist in March.  Starting chemo and radiation at some point.  I will have to get another operation to get a port put in for my chemo.  

Wonderful church service

Today I was annointed with oil and had hands layed on me and was prayed over at Living Springs Community Church.  Then I spoke to the congregation.  I started crying but my message was heard and received I believe with love and understanding.  Here is what I said..
I am up here today to personally thank each and every one of you for the caring and love that you have shown me and my family these past weeks.
As some of you know, I have been diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer.  I had a mastectomy and lymph node dissection last Friday and cancer was found in 10 of 19 lymph nodes.  I will now be getting chemotherapy and radiation.
During the last two weeks, my family has been blessed with an abundance of home cooked meals and food.  We have enjoyed dishes such as macaroni and cheese, lasagna, potatoes and beef, chicken noodle soup, roasted chicken and even country breakfast pie!  We are so grateful for everything our church has done for us.
I truly know now what being a Christian means.  I have met people before who call themselves Christians but would not raise a hand to help someone in need.  Before me I see true Christians.  I see people who live with Christ in their hearts.
I don't have anything to give back to you except my thanks and my time to work for the church but I do want to tell you this.
Ladies.. please don't put off your mammograms or other yearly tests.  I went a whole year after discovering my lump until I was diagnosed.  Don't take NO for an answer if you feel something is wrong.  Keep going back until you are satisfied.  A Doctor told me nothing was wrong and I lost nearly 9 months of possible treatment.
Men.. yes you Men!  You are probably thinking what does this have to do with me?  There are tests that you need to get done too!  Don't skip it because it is embarrassing or you feel fine.. my father had prostate cancer and luckily it was caught early enough and he was cured!  Don't put off your exams either.  No one needs to die of Embarrassment!
Lastly, I want to thank "Don't call me Pastor" Kurt Brown and his wife Sharon for organizing the meals for our family.  I feel so blessed to be part of this church family and I want you to know that each and every one of you are special and are here at this church for a reason.  You might not know what it is, but God does.  
Thank you again and God bless you!